LET'S LAUGH

Santa: Why are you heating the knife
Banta: To do suicide
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection....

"Dad," said Fred to his father, a bank robber.
"I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."
"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

Two men were hunting when one of them saw a rabbit. “Quick,” said the first, “shoot it.” “I can’t,” said the second. “My gun isn’t loaded.” “Well,” said the first,” you know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn’t.” ....

The sheriff of a town was also a veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?

Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?....

Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"

The teacher was rather bewildered.

"Don't you mean Michael?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 100. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? ....

Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I?
Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out....

Santa: Why have you increased speed of the car?
Banta: The brake has failed. We should reach home before an accident takes place

Girl comes late to class.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Girl: A boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, what?

Girl: He was walking very slowly....

Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, causes a thrill and makes you tremble?"

Mabel: "Yes, the dentist" ....

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me... I must be a god! ....

Commerce professor asks a student: What is the most important source of finance for starting a business?
Student: Father-in-law....