GOOD ONES

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
a fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

College : A place where some pursue learning and
others learn pursuing.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students

without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : books which people praise, but do not
read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest.. except
that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and
kills you with his bills.