SOMETHING ABOUT WIVES!!!!!

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman
----------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield
-----------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle
------------------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her , "Where's the car?" She replied,"In the lake." -Henny Youngman
--------------------------------------------------------------

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
----------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
---------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
----------------------------------------------------------
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa , a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
---------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late. -
---------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine." -------------------------------------------------------- A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,
----------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
----------------------------------------------------------

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.
---------------- -----------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a million dollarsa and beat me till I'm half dead."
---------------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
----------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
----------------------------------------------------------